| Jock |
Apr 20 2008 3:22 PM |
| Jock takes his wife2 casualty. she has no teeth, a broken nose and 2black eyes. Dr says wots happened? Jock says she is going thru the change. Dr says that doesn't happen with the change. Jock replies it does when it is in my f&cking pocket. |
| Ken |
Apr 20 2008 3:19 PM |
| Blonde wife painting house, husband walks in and cant believe she is doing so well.But has to ask her why she is wearing a leather jacket and a parka, she said hello read the f*cking tin it says for best results put on 2 coats |
| Ken |
Apr 20 2008 3:17 PM |
| Hey you..Shut that door behind you and take off ur pants! get on top of me and do whatever you need to do to satisfy ur needs. i want to hear that all famous AHH when your done. Love always, The Toilet! |
| Rosie |
Apr 05 2008 3:57 PM |
whats the difference between a cricket bat and a tea towel?......
Fuck all... They both wrap nicely around a muslims head... |
| Elton |
Feb 02 2008 12:49 PM |
| Elton John went to a tattooist and said I want a Rolls Royce tattooed on my cock. Bloke said you'd be better of with a land rover, it won't get stuck in the shit. |
| Antonio |
Feb 02 2008 12:45 PM |
| a little old man totters into a chemist to buy viagra. Can I have 6 tablets and i need them cut into quarters. The chemist says "I could cut them for you but a quarter tablet won't give you an erection". The old man says "i don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out enough so i don't pee in my slippers" |
| Damian |
Feb 02 2008 12:41 PM |
| I heard you got robbed last night and the robber gave you 2 choices. give him your phone or suck his cock...I see you still have your phone....! |
| Dylan |
Feb 02 2008 12:39 PM |
| A girl goes to a shop and buys 1 apple, 1 egg & 1 pie. The grocer says "i bet your single", the girl replies "how did u know?" He says "coz you're an ugly c*nt" |
| Laura |
Jan 23 2008 6:59 PM |
| An essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives. The paramedic asks 'how many fingers have I got up?' the girl replies- oh no I think I'm paralised too |
| Darren |
Jan 23 2008 6:58 PM |
| Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut" Mommy:"u mean its small?"Little Girl:"No its salty" |
| Katie |
Jan 23 2008 6:58 PM |
| A teacher asks"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies "feet- coz every nite I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming GOD I'M COMIN! |
| Ronnie |
Jan 23 2008 6:57 PM |
Chicken and egg in bed, chicken has head on pillow smoking. Egg rolls over annoyed saying "I guess we answered that question then"
|
| Amy |
Jan 23 2008 6:57 PM |
| A boy n girl r dancin at a Disco. They kiss n stop instantly. the girl says 2 the boy "r u a mechanic?" the boy says "no why?" the girl says"well get ya hands from under my mini!" |
| Jake |
Jan 23 2008 6:56 PM |
| A woman standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror n says 2 her husband, "I look horrible, fat & ugly. pay me a compliment", her husband replies "your eyesight's spot on!" |
| Adam |
Jan 23 2008 6:56 PM |
| A man goes for a blood test. nurse took his finger blood sample but cant find cotton. So she sucks his finger! He is so happy he then asks:"Can I get a urine test to?" |
| Keith |
Jan 23 2008 6:55 PM |
| Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr I've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr I've been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS! |
| Phil |
Jan 23 2008 6:55 PM |
| Mirror Mirror on the wall, Whos the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed & then it spat- It sure aint u, u ugly twat! |
| Scott |
Jan 23 2008 6:54 PM |
| Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its arse & turned it into nylon |
| Richard |
Jan 23 2008 6:54 PM |
| Jack & Jill went up the hill 2 have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son. |
| Lee |
Jan 23 2008 6:53 PM |
| Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you prat I live in a flat so how the hell do I know. |
